Why Am I So Indecisive?
A Simple Look Through Freud’s Lens.
Have you ever found yourself frozen between two choices, weighing pros and cons until your mind feels like it’s spinning? Maybe it was something small — like whether to say yes to a last-minute invitation — or something bigger, like changing jobs or setting a boundary with someone you love.
You’re not alone. And you’re definitely not broken.
Psychologist Sigmund Freud had a powerful way of explaining why we get stuck like this. His theory of the Id, Ego, and Superego offers a simple yet insightful window into why we hesitate, overthink, or avoid decisions.
According to Freud, our mind is made up of three parts:
1. The Id
The childlike, impulsive part of you. It wants pleasure, comfort, and quick relief.
Example: "I want to eat the entire cake. It looks amazing!"
2. The Superego
The strict, moral voice shaped by parents, school, and society. It wants to follow the rules and do the "right" thing.
Example: "You shouldn’t eat that cake. You need self-control."
3. The Ego
The decision-maker in the middle. It tries to balance what you want with what you "should" do and what’s actually possible.
Example: "Maybe one slice of cake is fine, and I can save the rest."
When you're indecisive, it often means these three voices are all speaking at once — and the Ego is trying to mediate the chaos.
⚡ Why We Get Stuck
Let’s say you’re offered a chance to go on a weekend retreat.
- Id says: "You need a break! Do it."
- Superego says: "You can't leave your family. That’s selfish."
- Ego thinks: "Can I make this work without letting anyone down? Will I regret not going?"
This internal back-and-forth is exhausting. And the longer it goes on, the more overwhelmed we feel — not because we don’t know what we want, but because we hear multiple wants and fears at the same time.
🔍 Awareness is the First Step
The goal isn’t to silence any of these voices, but to recognize them. The moment you can say, "Ah, that’s my Superego talking," you step out of the mental tug-of-war.
With time, awareness helps you:
- Feel more in control of your choices
- Let go of guilt or self-doubt
- Make decisions that feel aligned instead of forced
Next time you feel stuck, pause and ask:
What does my Id want right now?
What is my Superego warning me about?
What does my Ego need to weigh, consider, or say yes to?
Write it down or say it out loud. You’ll be surprised how quickly your mind becomes clearer.
Being indecisive doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you have an active inner world — and every part of you wants to be heard. Learning to recognize these parts is the first step to making choices with confidence and calm.